Happy Chinese New Year 2006

My grandma's birthday - 2004. pic by At.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…so, it’s Chinese New Year! And here I am, just left the living room, watching the telly with my dad and mom. The rest are all fast asleep. I don’t really remember clearly what I did, during previous Chinese New Year. Most probably it’s the same as this year.

As a child, I used to look forward to Chinese New Year. No, not because of the ang paos, but more to the occasion itself. Normally, our house will be filled with relatives, and me and my sisters have to sleep in the living room. My uncles will be coming back from Ipoh and KL. So do my sisters.

The reunion dinner will be held at my dad’s shop. As I remember, every year were the same. The mothers will prepare all the food. 3 big tables crammed into my dad’s shop, and everyone happily eating and talking catching up with each other.

And during daytime, especially on the first day, all the relatives will visit our house. It’s sort of like the meeting point of everyone. Everyone will know where to go on the first day. Maybe they did make arrangement and I didn’t know about it. Hmm…

The adults will be with their usual endless rounds of mahjong. Dads will be watching the TV and conversing with each other, while us, the younger ones will be running around the house playing the you-also-played-before-when-you’re-young games. It’s like a party house, filled with the sound of laughter, Chinese New Year songs, people talking loudly, children (that’s us kids) shouting and screaming, running around, and etc. It’s fun, fun and fun. Not to mention the ang paos!!!

Then at night, when everyone has left, all my family members will gather at the kitchen, listening to my uncle from Ipoh talking about his patients, while holding a glass of whisky. He’ll talk and talk and makes everyone laugh.

And as I grew older, I started going out with my friends for visiting. I remember we used to cycle from house to house, and it was so bloody hot! When I look back, I wonder how stupid I was back then. Haha… but those are the things that you do when you are younger.

At 25 years old, the appeal of the Chinese New Year has long gone. A lot of things that happen, has change the way we celebrate Chinese New Year. Even though the appeal of it has gone, but I somehow felt much closer to my family in celebrating Chinese New Year. My main aim of Chinese New Year is to celebrate it with my grandmother, my parents, my lovely sisters and my brothers. Oh yeah, not forgetting my cute nieces and nephews.

People say that as you grow older, you’ll mellow. After all these years, I think I had indeed mellowed a little. I’m not as reckless as I used to be, and I’m felt a more responsible person. Hmm… or should I put it as, I felt I have responsibilities on my shoulder. It makes me evaluate every move that I make and every decision that I take.
Coming back to my hometown this Chinese New Year, my main aim is to stay at home. The ideas of going out, meeting friends, or visiting friends does not appeal to me anymore, too. Perhaps I might visit few really close friends, I somehow felt reluctant to attend mass gathering.

I felt disconnected from few of my friends. After all these years, I feel I have changed a lot. I’m 25. I’ve grown up. I’m forced to grow up. I have to grow up. I do not know whether my judging is right or wrong, but I felt some of my friends are still the same. They are still very much who they are during school days. Maybe they have changed too, but I did not notice it.

They are still talking bullshit like we use to do. Of course, I do still jokes and bullshit around once in a while, but I feel no necessity of it. I’m not a religious person, but I don’t know why a lot of my principles are very Buddhistics. I remember reading a Dhamma book where the Buddha said that if the words that you are going to say is unnecessary, then don’t say it. Say what is necessary. I guess this explains why people find me sort of reserved. But those who are closer to me will think other wise.

One advertisement during this Chinese New Year caught my attention. I’m not sure which company the ads is from, but it’s about family values. It started off with a group of old folks, at the old folks home boasting about their children achievements. One is a highly paid lawyer, another one has a 20000-pound-per-surgery doctor son, and etc.

After 3 of them boasted about their children, they turn to the fourth folk, and ask her what about your son? She just answered, “My son? Yeah, he’s fine. He’s coming to pick me up later.” When the son with the wife and kids to pick up the grandmother, the other folks look stun and wonder where is there children.

If you notice on the television, most of the adverts will placed their focus on family values. I remember attending a forum in Genting Highlands when this guy from Eu Yan Sang was talking about Eu Yang Sang advertisement which is based on family values. A lot of companies are promoting their products by relating it to filial piety.

The con of this is that these companies are taking advantage of the family values. The pro is that these advertisements will remind people to be more loving, and that their own family is the priority. I have these ads to thank to for reminding me about family values from time to time. I’ve never felt closer to my family members than now! That is why I didn’t even plan any visiting rounds during this Chinese New Year. All I want to do is to be at home during this Chinese New Year.

I will visit few close friends, and maybe will turn up in some gathering. No matter what, need to show some face and catch up with some friends too. Haha…

This year will also be the first year that I will be giving out ang pao! Wakakaz… Don’t misunderstand. I’m not married yet. I will be giving ang pao to my parents and my grandma. Nothing special, just an appreciation gesture to them having taking care of me for such a long time and still is. It’s true that when people says that we are always a child in the eyes of our parents, no matter how old we are. :)

Even though Chinese New Year has lost it appeal to me anymore, in term of fun, but it has definitely made it more meaningful to me.

Choy San Yeh, please bless me, ok.